Menolak Lamaran

This conversation happened when I'm 16 Y.O, and my English is too bad, in serious condition. Hha.. Someone chat me on FB. Sebelum ini, udah ada percakapan basa-basi yaa, jadi ambil intinya aja. Here we go..

• Him: u r single? u like pakistani people?
• Me: yes, i am single but i waiting someone in here. Pakistani people? i don't know about them
• Him: oh oke dear tell me. u r married?
• Me: no, i 16th years old. i not thnk about boyfriend or marrid now..
• Him: oh sorry.. but i propose u (((PROPOSE))) *menggema, hha* i want marry u, and i will give u all happiness
• Me: oh i am sorry, coz i am very kid to think about that now.. i want to study (bijak oii)
• Him: its ok.. after marry u can study. u want do everything which u like. i cant stop u
• Me: our distance very longer you know..!! you are from pakistan n' i am from indonesia
• Him: its ok. i love u. just see. U R MUSLIM?? I AM MUSLIM. U R HUMAN BEING. SO I Am HUMAN, THEN ITS OK. but have right to like me, because its ur right, if u dont like me, then i will accept ur decession. i love a lot, i give u too much love, realy.
• Me: i think i can not with you. i am waiting someone in here
• Him: y. ok if u have any boy f and lover. so tell me
• Me: you can look for someone in pakistan if you want to marry now.
• Him: i want marry which one i like. first time any girl i like too much. i cant live without u. and 2nd picture i post on my room wall. i see it every time, i realy love u. if u have skype then u can see ur picture on my wall
• Me: hah? why you dont look for someone in Pakistan?

Bad Things Happen!

• Me: Actually i'm really really really jealous. Do you know what the bad things happen? Not when you lose your boyfriend, but when you know that your best friend to be close with another person, moreover it's just from social network.
• Her: *tendyang* *ngomong pake toa* Listen me, I know that she was somebody, everybody know she was. Being with her is like learning to fly. And being with you I can find how I supposed to find the strange to stay. I truly really deeply need all of you. And everything was turn it out. However you are not as same Wow like her, but from you I knew everysingle new things. Lemme remember, toa 📢 , petromax🏮, you are the most, most, most, patient, with, my, alambuh. You always be there in a good, glad, and sad times. Everything I feel, I can't to say, I cry inside, you already know. And I actually need advice from other too. In order to, when you feel what I felt before, I know what should I do. What should you do. what's the best we do. Is that make sense? I won't never leave you because somebody at my left while you at my right. Because you and I will together to Jannah. Don't do anything foolish (again)! Jealous made hungry. Let's breakfast.
• Me: Hahaha (ketawa sambil berkaca2) Give me a hug, warm hug!
• Her: Aaaaaak *MENGHAMBURRR BAWA SELIMUT* #warmhug 😂😂

Perihal Diamku

Cuaca akhir-akhir ini benar-benar berhasil membuatku menyerah, beberapa minggu aku sudah bertahan dengan cuaca panas di siang hari dan akan sangat dingin saat malam sampai pagi hari. Sudah lama hujan tak datang, ini kemarau, gersang, sama seperti hatiku. Lama hujan tak pernah datang, lama juga kabarmu tak kunjung kudapatkan. Pamitmu waktu itu melalui pesan disalah satu sosial media, bahwa setahun kedepan kau tak bisa memberi kabar, aku menangis terisak. Hatiku tak bisa serta merta menerima keputusan sepihak, hujan mungkin tak sedang turun diluar, tapi ia jatuh dari sudut mataku. Saat itu aku sedang dikotamu, berkaca-kaca mataku tetap menatap layar ponsel digenggaman, membaca pesanmu berulang-ulang, berharap kau salah kirim, atau apapun yang bisa lebih membuatku tenang.

"Bila sudah dikotamu saja aku masih tak bisa melihatmu, lalu aku harus pergi kemana?"

Dream as high as the sky.

Gue percaya bahwa setiap orang punya mimpi, cita-cita, harapan, juga keinginan. And my teacher ever told to me, "It's oke to have a dream as high as the sky, coz when you fall, you still among the stars." Dan nggak sedikit orang yang (mungkin) punya cita-cita sama kayak gue. STUDY ABROAD. Yes, I know I'm not the only one. Study di luar negeri jelas menuntut kita harus bisa bahasa inggris biar lebih gampang berkomunikasi, bukan cuma itu sih, karna sebelum keluar negeri udah pasti kita bakalan di test TOEFL juga. Dan jujur gue belum pernah test. #suck

Kalo ditanya orang, "Lo pengen kemana emang kalo mau study abroad?"
Gue lebih sering jawab, "Australia"
Even though... gue bakal terima-terima aja sih kemanapun diluar negeri asal gue afford. Meskipun belum valid gue pengen di Universitas mana ntar, dan padahal juga masih mau semester segini, masih lama yang mau lulus. :D

But, you know what?

The Lowest Point of Life

This morning, I asked to my friends via Group WhatsApp Messenger, I asked them about life.

“Guys?  Have you ever felt or moderate experiencing the lowest point in life?
“Yes, I’m”
“I feel it also, in the lowest point”
“Yeah, me too”

Then I stop to ask them and thinking for a while, all this time I felt just me who had a problem and felt stuck in the lowest point of life, but when I looked around, I saw many people had a problem and it’s hard to walked away. Their foot felt so heavy to moved. Their shoulders looked heavier than usual, as much of the burden borned. Their eyes looked more wistful than before, like a lot of the night they spent to stayed awake. And I saw them still have smile to share, till no everyone know what happen in their life, how broken their heart, how difficult to still show good condition, but they’re not.

I learn from you guys, how can you be patient and still struggle? How can you give smile but your mouth want to scream? How can your eyes still sparkle but you want to cry loudly? I'm so shy with myself, I had too much to complain. But I’ve never strive to pray more diligent, so how can Allah give me more if I never say thankful to Him who was given me everything free?

Almost Desperate

• Jane:Apasih? dateng-dateng nyamber makanan orang.
• X:Hah, gila lo makanan pedes gini dimakan. Yakin perut gpp?
• Jane:Otak gw yang kenapa-kenapa.
• X:Lo kalo lagi setres suka makan makanan pedes kyak gini?
• Jane:Ini ngebantu otak gw sedikit waras. Gw jadi lebih mikirin air minum ketimbang yang ada diotak.
• X:Lagi ada masalah?
• Jane:Muak, kesel, hopeless.
• X:Sama?
• Jane:Diri sendiri?
• X:Please explain!

Kembali

Lama juga gue ninggalin Blog ini, tiba-tiba gue pengen balik kesini. Setelah gue lupa sama password also e-mail Blog ini, beberapa hari yang lalu semuanya gue edit. Dan tadaaaaaa!! I'm back!! Kembali kesini juga bukan tanpa alasan, gue lagi nyari tulisan yang masih ke-save di draft yang takutnya masih penting, entah penting entah terlalu banyak perasaan yang kekunci disana.

Well, ada juga sesuatu yang nggak bisa gue posting di akun gue yang lain. Tapi gue pengen ngeplongin hati aja. Then, after this I wanna share what's on my mind yang udah gue tulis.